Abraham, my Friend 61

Will you go with this man?

It is wonderful how clearly characters are captured in just a few words in this story. We see the mercenary streak in Rebekah’s brother Laban:

And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the fountain. And it came to pass, when he saw the ring, and the bracelets upon his sister’s hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he was standing by the camels at the fountain. And he said, Come in, thou blessed of Jehovah; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels. (Gen 24:29–31 ASV)

This instant character study of Laban is borne out in his subsequent dealings with Jacob. It puts me in mind of Simon in Samaria: ‘when Simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles’ hands…’.

The servant repeats his commission to Laban. It is curious that he never mentions Isaac by name but always by relationship — my master’s son. When he had prayed he referred to Isaac by name (Gen 24:14) and had referred to him as ‘thy servant Isaac’, but to the household of Laban he is just ‘my master’s son’. So far as we know, Laban and Isaac never met and no relationship between them ever developed.

Both Abraham and Isaac are called servants of God. It is a title which has fallen out of favour — servants. Men are ever conscious of power and authority but the distinctive character of Abraham and Isaac is the servant heart. It is not possession but relationship which comes to the surface here, and it was not by power that Abraham and Isaac received the promise to be a blessing to the nations, but because of the unbroken relationship of master and servant. They are channels, not reservoirs.

Laban cannot but recognise the authority of God in the servant’s story and refuses to grant or withhold permission for the marriage:

Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from Jehovah: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as Jehovah hath spoken. (Gen 24:50–51 ASV)

The servant bows in worship and opens up the treasures carried on his ten camels — gifts for Rebekah, for Laban, for Bethuel, for Rebekah’s mother, and then the celebration begins. The following morning however Laban tries to delay the process. It is the familiar short term compromise of the worlding; not yet. Why did Laban do this? I suspect he had his eyes on the remainder of the camel’s panniers.

The worldling is always ready to bargain — Lot and his plea to be allowed to remain in Zoar; it is just a little city. Now Laban — not today, next week or the week after. This is the subtlety of the world; it seldom comes full face and says ‘no’ but wheels and deals; what difference will a day or two make?

Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.” (Acts 24:25 NKJV)

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, In the day of trial in the wilderness…” (Heb 3:7–8 NKJV)

…but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. (Heb 3:12–13 NKJV)

For He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 6:2 NKJV)

Since the coming of the Spirit at Pentecost, the date on God’s invitation is always ‘today’. The servant will not tolerate this compromise; ‘hinder me not’.

The all-important questions

Laban’s solution is to let the young woman make the decision; ‘wilt thou go with this man?’ This is the all-important question; ‘will you?’

The old Anglican marriage service has lots of hidden treasures. Some people choose it for its beauty but sometimes the beauty can obscure the truth it holds. Most will have seen something similar but let’s go to the original. The first part of the traditional service of matrimony was the establishing of the eligibility of both persons. In formal civil weddings this sometimes has to be stated publicly. This eligibility is then confirmed:

I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God’s Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful.

The wedding cannot continue unless both parties are free of all other bonds of this nature. No man can serve two masters and in the perfect picture no man can have two wives, nor a woman have two husbands. This is an exclusive relationship.

The persons are about to give the assent to oaths which demand exclusivity and such would never be possible if prior relationships were still operating. This is why God brought Israel out of Egypt to be joined to him in matrimony. The nation could not be Pharaoh’s servants and God’s at the same time. The Sinai Covenant, of course, was a wedding:

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord Jehovah, and thou becamest mine. Then washed I thee with water; yea, I thoroughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with sealskin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and covered thee with silk. And I decked thee with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a ring upon thy nose, and ear-rings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thy head.
(Eze 16:8-12 ASV)

…With the same wedding tokens as the servant had given to Rebekah.

Requirements… for the bridegroom

Back to our Anglican wedding. When the eligibility has been established the other questions begin:

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man,
(Isaac), wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The Man shall answer, I will.

This first question is addressed to the bridegroom. The cross is our Heavenly Isaac’s great ‘I will’ to this question. These are the terms of a covenant. Will he keep faithful to his bride? Will he fellowship with her in intimate relation? Will he love her? Will he comfort (strengthen) her? Will he guard her in good times and bad? Will he, forsaking all other, keep himself ‘only unto her’ for life? The cross says ‘I will’.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. (Eph 5:25–29 NKJV)

Requirements… for the bride

Rebekah is a good picture of the church in its virgin purity, but there is a much more rugged one earlier in that Ezekiel passage:

And when I passed by thee, and saw thee weltering in thy blood, I said unto thee, Though thou art in thy blood, live; yea, I said unto thee, Though thou art in thy blood, live. I caused thee to multiply as that which groweth in the field, and thou didst increase and wax great, and thou attainedst to excellent ornament; thy breasts were fashioned, and thy hair was grown; yet thou wast naked and bare. Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord Jehovah, and thou becamest mine. Then washed I thee with water; yea, I thoroughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. (Ezek 16:6–9 ASV)

Here the bride is a foundling, blood-spattered and abandoned. There is a note here not to be missed. He wraps her in his love before He washed her clean. If we could keep this clear we would not make sanctification a ‘condition of acceptance’ but what it is in reality, ‘the privilege of love’.

If anyone who reads this has any doubt let our Lord’s cry ring down the centuries. ‘I will, be thou clean.’ (Matt 8:2,3)

The officiating minister then turns to the woman:

Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman,
(Rebekah), wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The Woman shall answer, I will.

These are not questions about your present state. They do not ask, ‘do you obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?’ but ‘will you’.

To ask, ‘do you’ would be to demand qualifications; to ask, ‘will you’ demands a choice. We have no qualifications to fit us as Christ’s bride, but when he asks the question, ‘will you?’ we can choose. And we must for our whole future destiny depends upon it.

The covenant

I wonder, did someone explain to you when you first responded that this was a covenant and that you had some responsibilities in it?

Did they tell you that it was conditional upon your being willing to ‘have this heavenly Isaac, as your lord and head?’

Did they tell you that you were promising to ‘obey him, and serve him?’

Did they tell you that you were promising to ‘love him, and honour him in the good times and the bad?’

Did they tell you that you were opting into a lifelong exclusive relationship?

Or did they tell you to invite Jesus into your heart?

The traditional service of matrimony now moves on. The two parties have declared their willingness; surely that’s it, they are married now? No they are not! Now they must carry out their willing decisions. It is recorded of the prodigal son that he said:

 ‘…I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’  “And he arose and came to his father.” (Luke 15:18–20a NKJV)

His decision is recorded in verses 18 and 19; his salvation is recorded in verse 20. Without the ‘getting up and moving towards his father’ his fine decision would have left him in the pigsty.

The declaration of mutual willingness is not enough

Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner. The Minister, receiving the Woman at her father’s or friend’s hands, shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth.

I (Isaac), take thee (Rebekah), to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Then shall they loose their hands; and the Woman, with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Minister,

I (Rebekah), take thee (Isaac), to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

It’s become the fuel for jokes, ‘plighting my troth’. It simply means ‘I pledge my word’, but notice the orientation of this part of the service. The first part was a conversation between each individual and the one asking the questions. Now it becomes a conversation between the two partners. They are talking to each other, for the first time in the service of matrimony.

Do you hear in your heart, the question? Will you follow this Servant-representative of the Father and the Son? I don’t ask how you feel or what your experience has been, only, ‘Will you go?’ If you do, he will lead you into the presence of a heavenly Isaac, and in that moment of personal encounter you can talk with each other, and give and receive each other’s pledged word.